Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Top Ten Things......

.....you discover while cleaning the house.

#10    You must be getting older because being down on your knees all day to vacuum under funiture makes you feel like Tonya Harding's boyfriend took a club to them. 

#9      Judging from the number of cobwebs you sucked out of corners you shouldn't have seen so much as a fruitfly in the house all year.  (You did have a fruitfly plague, though, in September due largely to those two forgotten tomatoes in a plastic bag in the utility room sink.  Yeesh.)

#8      An upright, dusty drinking glass standing behind the couch.  What the......?

#7      A stitch marker under same couch.  Go check your project.

#6    Judging from the knickknacks the cats have knocked over you should seriously consider redecorating using anvils and bricks.

#5    Cat and dog hair....... so. much. fur.

#4   If you ever have the misfortune to get murdered, don't do it in a spinner's house.  There will be no "A-ha" moment when they find 'a fiber!' that leads to the prime suspect in a few days.  They will instead take years just to ID all the crap lifted from the crime scene. 

#3    Eight cat toys under the furniture.

#2    Electronics are made of sterner stuff than you've been lead to believe since they've been functioning just fine swathed in a coccoon of dust.

And the Number One thing you'll discover while cleaning house........

Sunlight through the bottle of blue window cleaner makes pretty, wiggling
SPARKLIES-SPARKLIES-SPARLKIES on the floor for your cat.



2 comments:

  1. I laughed so hard about this! You must be looking in my windows! Lol!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ack! Did you write this? This is hysterical!!!

    ReplyDelete